Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id E3680DEB58 for ; Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:14:52 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 22303-08 for ; Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:14:41 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=polyglot.com.au; Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 42362DEB50 for ; Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:14:40 +1000 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:14:25 +1000 Thread-Topic: Twice Adopted Reply-To: Message-ID: <006001c6a85c$0854ca70$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcaoXAhSHl0nAfBQTmK/j9eAV1ijyw== From: To: Subject: Twice Adopted Date: Sun, 16 Jul 2006 08:14:25 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0061_01C6A8AF.DA00DA70" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2663 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 15 Jul 2006 22:14:25.0703 (UTC) FILETIME=[08573B70:01C6A85C] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0061_01C6A8AF.DA00DA70 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 203 - 17thJuly 2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads=20 * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick =20 =20 Sometimes, when you read a book, it is just a story. Other times the story reaches out and grabs you with both hands. That's what the book 'Twice Adopted' by Michael Reagan =A9 2004, Broadman & Holman, Nashville USA, did to me when I read it.=20 =20 Mike is the adopted eldest son of Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States of America. He is also a syndicated, radio, talk-show host, who has a 200 station hook-up across the USA. Mike has authored a number of best selling books and appears on TV regularly www.reagan.com =20 =20 Sean Hannity says this of Mike Reagan. "Mike is a courageous, compassionate and generous human being. He is honest to a fault. In this book, Mike turns his life inside out and dumps it on the table for the whole world to see. He has held nothing back. In 'Twice Adopted' Michael reveals the pain, fears and tortured memories of a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. He also shares the story of his salvation and redemption from those painful memories and his self destructive behaviour . . . Mike's story will make you angry. It will bring tears to your eyes. It will challenge, inform and motivate you. And one more thing . . . it will change your life." =20 Sean is right. If you have experienced any level of family dysfunction, and let's face it, most of us have who are alive today in the western world; you will find some part of Michael Reagan's story to call your own. The fact that he was the son of the President of the United States makes it all the more interesting. Perhaps Michael's words at his father's memorial service give us an insight into the drama more fully told in the book. =20 Good evening. I'm Mike Reagan. You knew my father as governor, as president, but I knew him as Dad. I want to tell you a little bit about my dad - a little bit about Cameron and Ashley's grandfather, because not a whole lot is ever spoken about that side of Ronald Reagan. =20 Ronald Reagan adopted me into his family in 1945. I was the chosen one. I was the lucky one. And in all of his years, he never mentioned that I was adopted, either behind my back or in front of me. I was his son, Michael Edward Reagan. =20 When his family grew to be two families, he didn't walk away from the one to go to the other. He became a father to both families. To Patti and then Ronnie, but always to my sister Maureen and myself. =20 We looked forward to those Saturday mornings when he would pick us up. We'd sit on the curb on Beverly Glen as his car would turn the corner from Sunset Boulevard, and we would get in and ride to his ranch and play games - and he would always make sure it ended up a tie. We would swim and we would ride horses or we'd just watch him cut firewood. We were in awe of our father. =20 As years went by and I became older and found the woman I would marry, Colleen, Dad sent me a letter about marriage and how important it was to be faithful to the woman you love - with a PS: "You'll never get in trouble if you say 'I love you' at least once a day." And I'm sure he told Nancy every day "I love you," just as I tell Colleen. =20 He also sent letters to his grandchildren. He wasn't able to be the grandfather that many of you are able to be because of the job that he had. So he would write letters. He sent one letter to Cameron and said: "Cameron, some guy got ten thousand dollars for my signature. Maybe this letter will help you pay for your college education." He signed it "Grandpa," then added, "PS. Your grandpa is the fortieth president of the United States, Ronald Reagan." =20 Those are the kinds of things my father did. =20 At the early onset of Alzheimer's disease, my father and I would tell each other we loved each other and we would give each other a hug. As the years went by and he could no longer verbalise my name, he recognised me as the man who hugged him. So when I would walk into the house, he would be there in his chair opening up his arms for that hug hello and the hug good-bye. It was a blessing truly brought on by God. =20 We had wonderful blessings of that nature - wonderful, wonderful blessings that my father gave to me each and everyday of my life. I was so proud to have the Reagan name and to be Ronald Reagan's son. What a great honor . . . Thank you for letting me share my father, Ronald Wilson Reagan. =20 Lovework =20 =20 Read a book that inspires you, challenges you and motivates you to be a better father. Fathers are imperfect creatures at the best of times, but in spite of all our imperfections our children need us so much more that we will ever know. =20 'Twice Adopted' is all about the power of a father's love in more ways than one. A country can always find another president but a good father is irreplaceable. =20 Yours for 'a father's love' Warwick Marsh =20 PS Enquiries are rolling in for the ten week 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course commencing in Wollongong on 7th September 2006. Read the News & Info section for more information about this course. =20 ________________________________________=20 Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in=20 age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician,=20 songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he=20 can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 =20 Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.=20 Ronald Reagan =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips in American National Parks: =20 "A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."=20 "Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."=20 "Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."=20 "Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."=20 "Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."=20 "All the mile markers are missing this year."=20 "Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."=20 "Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."=20 "Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."=20 "Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."=20 "Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."=20 "The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."=20 "Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights." =20 "Need more signs to keep area pristine."=20 "A McDonald's would be nice at the trail head."=20 "The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."=20 "Too many rocks in the mountains."=20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads=20 =20 Suicide Avoidance -=20 Another Avenue of Assistance for Men -=20 Help with Parenting Plans By Ian Windsor =20 For more than 17 years I have helped abused and deserted husbands and fathers navigate their way through the Family Law minefield. I have a high regard for good women and good men who respect each other and their children. I strongly support families and the sanctity of marriage and I am passionate about the rights of children to have both their biological parents continue sharing their upbringing after separation, and this implies the responsibility on the part of both parents to make it happen. The problem we are still facing is that too many good fathers are being denied this responsibility and there is insufficient practical help readily available for them, hence this letter. =20 =20 You are no doubt aware that the new amendments to the FLA are effectively a reiteration of the failed 1996 amendments. The government, fully aware of the all the issues, has chosen not to change the custody provisions that effectively put the best interests of lawyers and other Family Court hangers-on ahead of children and their fathers. The changes will make little difference unless good fathers are taken by the hand and guided through the system. =20 Early in my own separation I was fortunate to get practical help from a knowledgeable friend of a friend whose assistance with strategic planning and detailed documentation was over and above the 'help' I got from my solicitor. After three years of sheer hell I was awarded interim sole custody and several months later I acceded to the mother's request for shared custody. Having survived this dreadful ordeal I chose to carry on the good work of my mentor in an attempt to stem this mindless and needless destruction of other good fathers. =20 Under the new system good fathers, even with a vexatious ex-partner, theoretically have a better chance of sharing custody. Even if they meet the stringent requirements and are well prepared to deal with the system and negotiate a fair and practicable parenting agreement, there are still several hurdles to jump, namely: mediators, court appointed experts, lawyers, children's representatives and judges. It remains to be seen just how professional and unbiased these people will be regarding best child-centred outcomes.=20 =20 Hitherto, most separated fathers seeking my help, have already wasted tens of thousands of dollars on legal fees. The government quite rightly, now wants separated parents to make parenting arrangements themselves without first resorting to lawyers, whom it infers add to the problem by encouraging litigation (a great money-spinner). The core problem still remains. The government's refusal to legislate for a presumption of shared parenting time, continues to give delinquent mothers the upper hand.=20 =20 The government says that it hopes parents will negotiate fair, child-centred parenting arrangements but the tilted playing field makes it very difficult for good fathers to negotiate a proper, fair and practicable agreement. Some fathers will be forced into court but most will be 'good guys' and accede to the demands and threats of the delinquent mother who treats the children as her exclusive property. Thus little has changed. =20 =20 =20 I strongly encourage good fathers to have faith in themselves and draw strength from others and the God who strengthens them, to prepare for the battle ahead. Those who are motivated by love and who can meet all the requirements for shared custody should not concede to the delinquent mother but fight for their children's rights and best interests. My understanding is that, unless there are good reasons to the contrary and supported by substantive evidence, these fathers can now expect equal resident parent time (shared custody) if they ask for, or are forced to fight for it.=20 =20 I can offer very low cost support and practical help for these fathers in respect of: * building self-esteem and self-confidence=20 * setting goals and realistic expectations=20 * learning strategies for dealing amicably with ex-partners and the Family Law system=20 * planning strategies that include the requirements for equal resident parent time=20 * drafting a parenting plan to Family Court specifications that can be used to facilitate negotiation as well as form the basis of an agreed parenting plan for a parenting order, and=20 * recovering costs from a delinquent ex-partner who force them into frivolous and vexatious litigation =20 Ian Windsor Paralegal More details can be found on my website at http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au Email: iwparalegal@optusnet.com.au=20 back to top=20 =20 All you need is Love =20 True Love By W. Shakespeare =20 Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:- =20 O no! it is an ever-fix=E8d mark That looks on tempests, and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. =20 Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,=20 But bears it our ev'n to the edge of doom:- =20 If this be error, and upon me prove, I never writ, nor no man ever loved. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 I love you Dad =20 Mike Reagan back to top=20 =20 Special Feature =20 =20 I will never give up on you This story was first published in Branching Out=20 I gave birth to three children and I am the adoptive mother of one. Our second child was born with Hydrocephalus and died at two and a half. Nothing in my training in my first family and subsequently as a teacher gave me the skills to deal with this.=20 We could not have any more children so we placed an application in to the Anglican Adoption Agency and miraculously were able to adopt. Our daughter was 21 days old when the 4 of us picked her up. She had a ready-made family just waiting to love her. A mother, father, 9 year old sister and 4 year old brother. Our child gave us all a great deal of joy and was such a blessing to us all.=20 Our daughter always knew she was adopted. We tried very hard to make our child by adoption know that she was as loved as any of our other children. The adoption experience is different but we tried to make it as normal as possible. The 3 children each had different hair colouring so she did not stand out as different, even though this had been my own experience - having red hair with parents and siblings who were dark-haired.=20 All the children were intelligent, our youngest being the most competitive. In fact she was very like me and there were many occasions when others said how much she looked like me or was as capable as I was in some areas.=20 We had 15 years of the ups and downs of "normal" living.Then adolescence hit us for the third time. The teenage years (15-19) of our youngest child gave us a great deal of heartache and many sleepless nights.=20 There was the discontentment at the school she attended. Changing schools did not make things any better, but we only recognized this in hindsight. There were times I did not know where she was or who she was with. There were many sleepless nights. There was the stealing, marijuana taking and total disruption of our lives.=20 I used to think a policeman would come to our front door and say " We have found your daughter, dead, near a road. Why didn't you know where she was?" I nearly went crazy. In fact there were times I was crazy. I became a detective, a nag, an emotional wreck and felt like a total failure as a wife, mother and human being. Other parents did not want our daughter disrupting their lives so this was an isolating experience for us all.=20 She was the master of divide and conquer. There were many arguments between my husband and me. There came a day when I knew we had to unite no matter what. I explained to her father that as long as we were united in our efforts, even if we were sometimes wrong with our decisions, we would get through this. Her siblings gave up on her saying, "When she comes good we will love her again"=20 Throughout all this chaos and especially when I thought I had nothing more in me to say or give, I said to my daughter, " I love you and I am not giving up on you". These words were as much a statement to me as to my daughter. I also sought help from PARC. There were times I visited and times we both visited. I had my sanity saved by talking things through when I was absolutely desperate. We went to the evening group and spoke as survivors of this experience. I am a great believer in sharing this success story.=20 As a family we went through the challenge of meeting and sharing with her birth mother and can only say this has been a positive experience for us all. My philosophy has always been - we do not own any of our children. They come through us or by adoption, but we do not own any of them.=20 Our daughter became an exceptional Personal Assistant to a high powered Deputy Managing Director. She is a loving and caring daughter and sister and is in a loving, committed 4-year relationship. She is the mother of our first darling grandchild and we are so proud of her. We can now laugh about some of those tough times. The cycle goes around again.=20 The "children" are adults now. We get together around the dinner table at least fortnightly. If this arrangement happens to slip by a little, she is the one who says "When is the next dinner?" and organises that it happens. I appreciate that she of all of them, wants it to happen. In later years when asked by her bother and sister what is was all about, she says she does not know. I believe her.=20 If she ever has the need in rearing her children, I hope she will remember to say those words, "I love you and I will never give up on you".=20 Josephine=20 _________________________________________________________ This story and more resources available at the Australian Benevolent Society Post Adoption Resource Centre http://www.bensoc.org.au =20 back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 GOOD to GREAT - the challenge =20 The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace, former commander of Australia's SAS.=20 =20 Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus=20 Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks=20 =20 'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the best of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of excellence will prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity, courage, self discipline and a sense of humour as well as the determination to be a team player who will do what he must, to ensure the success of himself and those around him.=20 =20 A DVD and enrolment form is available.=20 Please email info@fathersonline.org with your name, address and phone number to request an enrolment form and DVD. =20 Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and you will be notified at the earliest opportunity. =20 _________________________________________________________ =20 PIXELS FOR LIVES - Buy pixels and become a LIFESAVER!=20 We lose 5 males every day through suicide in this country.....and we seem to accept that.....=20 Dads in Distress cannot! Get behind us and help........please Buying pixels and advertising your business or showing others that you care, even by just sending a positive message, can help us to continue the lifesaving work that we do. http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/pixels.html =20 10 July 2006=20 Shared Parenting Council of Australia=20 Letter to the Editor: Re The Age Article "Parents now more likely to flee with kids" (9th July 2006)=20 The specious concerns of lawyer Sally Nicholes about recent Family law changes and the patently false headline "Parents now more likely to flee with kids" ( 9th July 2006) do not diminish the common sense approach of shared parenting. Rather these comments are designed to divert criticism from the Family Court and its State welfare arm, The Department of Community Development (DCD), after their poor conduct in the recent Swiss Child Abduction case mentioned in the article.=20 Read more http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news493.html =20 09 July 2006=20 TVNZ / Sunday=20 Father's fight Family Court=20 They are bitter, desperate, and they are demanding justice - angry fathers have been picketing the Family Court accusing it of an anti-male bias.=20 Read more http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news492.html =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 Dear God =20 Mike Reagan says,=20 "My search ended when I was twice adopted. God is my father, and I am his child. I'm finally home." Mike is right -=20 You are our father and you love us. Help us love our children just like you love us. back to top=20 =20 Help Us Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_0061_01C6A8AF.DA00DA70 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 203 - 17thJuly 2006 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

Sometimes, when you read a book, it is just a story. Other times the story reaches out and grabs you with both hands. That's what the book 'Twice Adopted' by Michael Reagan © 2004, Broadman & Holman, Nashville USA, did to me when I read it.

 

Mike is the adopted eldest son of Ronald Reagan, former President of the United States of America. He is also a syndicated, radio, talk-show host, who has a 200 station hook-up across the USA. Mike has authored a number of best selling books and appears on TV regularly www.reagan.com

 

Sean Hannity says this of Mike Reagan. "Mike is a courageous, compassionate and generous human being. He is honest to a fault. In this book, Mike turns his life inside out and dumps it on the table for the whole world to see. He has held nothing back. In 'Twice Adopted' Michael reveals the pain, fears and tortured memories of a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. He also shares the story of his salvation and redemption from those painful memories and his self destructive behaviour . . . Mike's story will make you angry. It will bring tears to your eyes. It will challenge, inform and motivate you. And one more thing . . . it will change your life."

 

Sean is right. If you have experienced any level of family dysfunction, and let's face it, most of us have who are alive today in the western world; you will find some part of Michael Reagan's story to call your own. The fact that he was the son of the President of the United States makes it all the more interesting. Perhaps Michael's words at his father's memorial service give us an insight into the drama more fully told in the book.

 

Good evening. I'm Mike Reagan. You knew my father as governor, as president, but I knew him as Dad. I want to tell you a little bit about my dad - a little bit about Cameron and Ashley's grandfather, because not a whole lot is ever spoken about that side of Ronald Reagan.

 

Ronald Reagan adopted me into his family in 1945. I was the chosen one. I was the lucky one. And in all of his years, he never mentioned that I was adopted, either behind my back or in front of me. I was his son, Michael Edward Reagan.

 

When his family grew to be two families, he didn't walk away from the one to go to the other. He became a father to both families. To Patti and then Ronnie, but always to my sister Maureen and myself.

 

We looked forward to those Saturday mornings when he would pick us up. We'd sit on the curb on Beverly Glen as his car would turn the corner from Sunset Boulevard, and we would get in and ride to his ranch and play games - and he would always make sure it ended up a tie. We would swim and we would ride horses or we'd just watch him cut firewood. We were in awe of our father.

 

As years went by and I became older and found the woman I would marry, Colleen, Dad sent me a letter about marriage and how important it was to be faithful to the woman you love - with a PS: "You'll never get in trouble if you say 'I love you' at least once a day." And I'm sure he told Nancy every day "I love you," just as I tell Colleen.

 

He also sent letters to his grandchildren. He wasn't able to be the grandfather that many of you are able to be because of the job that he had. So he would write letters. He sent one letter to Cameron and said: "Cameron, some guy got ten thousand dollars for my signature. Maybe this letter will help you pay for your college education." He signed it "Grandpa," then added, "PS. Your grandpa is the fortieth president of the United States, Ronald Reagan."

 

Those are the kinds of things my father did.

 

At the early onset of Alzheimer's disease, my father and I would tell each other we loved each other and we would give each other a hug. As the years went by and he could no longer verbalise my name, he recognised me as the man who hugged him. So when I would walk into the house, he would be there in his chair opening up his arms for that hug hello and the hug good-bye. It was a blessing truly brought on by God.

 

We had wonderful blessings of that nature - wonderful, wonderful blessings that my father gave to me each and everyday of my life. I was so proud to have the Reagan name and to be Ronald Reagan's son. What a great honor . . . Thank you for letting me share my father, Ronald Wilson Reagan.

 

Lovework

 

Read a book that inspires you, challenges you and motivates you to be a better father. Fathers are imperfect creatures at the best of times, but in spite of all our imperfections our children need us so much more that we will ever know.

 

'Twice Adopted' is all about the power of a father's love in more ways than one. A country can always find another president but a good father is irreplaceable.

 

Yours for 'a father's love'

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Enquiries are rolling in for the ten week 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course commencing in Wollongong on 7th September 2006. Read the News & Info section for more information about this course.

 

 ________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

       

 

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

Ronald Reagan

back to top

Laughter



These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips in American National Parks:

"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."

"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."

"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."

"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."

"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."

"All the mile markers are missing thi s year."

"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."

"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."

"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."

"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."

"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."

"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."

"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."

"Need more signs to keep area pristine."

"A McDonald's would be nice at the trail head."

"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."

"Too many rocks in the mountains."

back to top

Single Dads

 

Suicide Avoidance -

Another Avenue of Assistance for Men -

Help with Parenting Plans

By Ian Windsor

 

For more than 17 years I have helped abused and deserted husbands and fathers navigate their way through the Family Law minefield. I have a high regard for good women and good men who respect each other and their children. I strongly support families and the sanctity of marriage and I am passionate about the rights of children to have both their biological parents continue sharing their upbringing after separation, and this implies the responsibility on the part of both parents to make it happen. The problem we are still facing is that too many good fathers are being denied this responsibility and there is insufficient practical help readily available for them, hence this letter.  

 

You are no doubt aware that the new amendments to the FLA are effectively a reiteration of the failed 1996 amendments. The government, fully aware of the all the issues, has chosen not to change the custody provisions that effectively put the best interests of lawyers and other Family Court hangers-on ahead of children and their fathers. The changes will make little difference unless good fathers are taken by the hand and guided through the system.

 

Early in my own separation I was fortunate to get practical help from a knowledgeable friend of a friend whose assistance with strategic planning and detailed documentation was over and above the 'help' I got from my solicitor. After three years of sheer hell I was awarded interim sole custody and several months later I acceded to the mother's request for shared custody. Having survived this dreadful ordeal I chose to carry on the good work of my mentor in an attempt to stem this mindless and needless destruction of other good fathers.

 

Under the new system good fathers, even with a vexatious ex-partner, theoretically have a better chance of sharing custody. Even if they meet the stringent requirements and are well prepared to deal with the system and negotiate a fair and practicable parenting agreement, there are still several hurdles to jump, namely: mediators, court appointed experts, lawyers, children's representatives and judges. It remains to be seen just how professional and unbiased these people will be regarding best child-centred outcomes.

 

Hitherto, most separated fathers seeking my help, have already wasted tens of thousands of dollars on legal fees. The government quite rightly, now wants separated parents to make parenting arrangements themselves without first resorting to lawyers, whom it infers add to the problem by encouraging litigation (a great money-spinner). The core problem still remains. The government's refusal to legislate for a presumption of shared parenting time, continues to give delinquent mothers the upper hand.

 

The government says that it hopes parents will negotiate fair, child-centred parenting arrangements but the tilted playing field makes it very difficult for good fathers to negotiate a proper, fair and practicable agreement. Some fathers will be forced into court but most will be 'good guys' and accede to the demands and threats of the delinquent mother who treats the children as her exclusive property. Thus little has changed. 

 

I strongly encourage good fathers to have faith in themselves and draw strength from others and the God who strengthens them, to prepare for the battle ahead. Those who are motivated by love and who can meet all the requirements for shared custody should not concede to the delinquent mother but fight for their children's rights and best interests. My understanding is that, unless there are good reasons to the contrary and supported by substantive evidence, these fathers can now expect equal resident parent time (shared custody) if they ask for, or are forced to fight for it.

 

I can offer very low cost support and practical help for these fathers in respect of:

*    building self-esteem and self-confidence

*    setting goals and realistic expectations

*    learning strategies for dealing amicably with ex-partners and the Family Law system

*    planning strategies that include the requirements for equal resident parent time

*    drafting a parenting plan to Family Court specifications that can be used to facilitate negotiation as well as form the basis of an agreed parenting plan for a parenting order, and

*    recovering costs from a delinquent ex-partner who force them into frivolous and vexatious litigation

 

Ian Windsor Paralegal

More details can be found on my website at http://www.windsorparalegal.com.au

Email: iwparalegal@optusnet.com.au

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All you need is Love

 

True Love

By W. Shakespeare

 

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments.  Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:-

 

O no! it is an ever-fixèd mark

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

 

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it our ev'n to the edge of doom:-

 

If this be error, and upon me prove,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

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Thought of the Week


 

I love you Dad

 

Mike Reagan

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Special Feature














I will never give up on you

This story was first published in Branching Out

I gave birth to three children and I am the adoptive mother of one. Our second child was born with Hydrocephalus and died at two and a half. Nothing in my training in my first family and subsequently as a teacher gave me the skills to deal with this.

We could not have any more children so we placed an application in to the Anglican Adoption Agency and miraculously were able to adopt. Our daughter was 21 days old when the 4 of us picked her up. She had a ready-made family just waiting to love her. A mother, father, 9 year old sister and 4 year old brother. Our child gave us all a great deal of joy and was such a blessing to us all.

Our daughter always knew she was adopted. We tried very hard to make our child by adoption know that she was as loved as any of our other children. The adoption experience is different but we tried to make it as normal as possible. The 3 children each had different hair colouring so she did not stand out as different, even though this had been my own experience - having red hair with parents and siblings who were dark-haired.

All the children were intelligent, our youngest being the most competitive. In fact she was very like me and there were many occasions when others said how much she looked like me or was as capable as I was in some areas.

We had 15 years of the ups and downs of "normal" living.Then adolescence hit us for the third time. The teenage years (15-19) of our youngest child gave us a great deal of heartache and many sleepless nights.

There was the discontentment at the school she attended. Changing schools did not make things any better, but we only recognized this in hindsight. There were times I did not know where she was or who she was with. There were many sleepless nights. There was the stealing, marijuana taking and total disruption of our lives.

I used to think a policeman would come to our front door and say " We have found your daughter, dead, near a road. Why didn't you know where she was?" I nearly went crazy. In fact there were times I was crazy. I became a detective, a nag, an emotional wreck and felt like a total failure as a wife, mother and human being. Other parents did not want our daughter disrupting their lives so this was an isolating experience for us all.

She was the master of divide and conquer. There were many arguments between my husband and me. There came a day when I knew we had to unite no matter what. I explained to her father that as long as we were united in our efforts, even if we were sometimes wrong with our decisions, we would get through this. Her siblings gave up on her saying, "When she comes good we will love her again"

Throughout all this chaos and especially when I thought I had nothing more in me to say or give, I said to my daughter, " I love you and I am not giving up on you". These words were as much a statement to me as to my daughter. I also sought help from PARC. There were times I visited and times we both visited. I had my sanity saved by talking things through when I was absolutely desperate. We went to the evening group and spoke as survivors of this experience. I am a great believer in sharing this success story.

As a family we went through the challenge of meeting and sharing with her birth mother and can only say this has been a positive experience for us all. My philosophy has always been - we do not own any of our children. They come through us or by adoption, but we do not own any of them.

Our daughter became an exceptional Personal Assistant to a high powered Deputy Managing Director. She is a loving and caring daughter and sister and is in a loving, committed 4-year relationship. She is the mother of our first darling grandchild and we are so proud of her. We can now laugh about some of those tough times. The cycle goes around again.

The "children" are adults now. We get together around the dinner table at least fortnightly. If this arrangement happens to slip by a little, she is the one who says "When is the next dinner?" and organises that it happens. I appreciate that she of all of them, wants it to happen. In later years when asked by her bother and sister what is was all about, she says she does not know. I believe her.

If she ever has the need in rearing her children, I hope she will remember to say those words, "I love you and I will never give up on you".

Josephine

_________________________________________________________

This story and more resources available at the Australian Benevolent Society Post Adoption Resource Centre   http://www.bensoc.org.au

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News & Info

 

 

 

 

 

 


GOOD  to  GREAT  -  the  challenge

 

The 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course is a ten week, intensive training exercise in fathering excellence. It features some of the best speakers on fatherhood in Australia such as Brigadier Jim Wallace, former commander of Australia's SAS.

 

Commencing: 7 pm Thursday 7th September 2006 at Wollongong Campus

Completion: 16th November 2006 - Duration: 10 weeks

 

'Good to Great' is not for the faint hearted. Our children deserve the best of the best, the world's greatest fathers. An attitude of excellence will prevail in this course. Recruits will need integrity, courage, self discipline and a sense of humour as well as the determination to be a team player who will do what he must, to ensure the success of himself and those around him.

 

A DVD and enrolment form is available.

Please email info@fathersonline.org  with your name, address and phone number to request an enrolment form and DVD.

 

Places are strictly limited. Priority will be given to those who are first to register. A rigorous selection process will be completed and you will be notified at the earliest opportunity.

 

_________________________________________________________

 

PIXELS FOR LIVES - Buy pixels and become a LIFESAVER!
We lose 5 males every day through suicide in this country.....and we seem to accept that.....
Dads in Distress cannot!  Get behind us and help........please
Buying pixels and advertising your business or showing others that you care, even by just sending a positive message, can help us to continue the lifesaving work that we do.
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/pixels.html 


10 July 2006
Shared Parenting Council of Australia
Letter to the Editor: Re The Age Article "Parents now more likely to flee with kids" (9th July 2006)
The specious concerns of lawyer Sally Nicholes about recent Family law changes and the patently false headline "Parents now more likely to flee with kids" ( 9th July 2006) do not diminish the common sense approach of shared parenting. Rather these comments are designed to divert criticism from the Family Court and its State welfare arm, The Department of Community Development (DCD), after their poor conduct in the recent Swiss Child Abduction case mentioned in the article.
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news493.html 

09 July 2006
TVNZ / Sunday
Father's fight Family Court
They are bitter, desperate, and they are demanding justice - angry fathers have been picketing the Family Court accusing it of an anti-male bias.
Read more
http://www.dadsindistress.asn.au/news492.html 

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God

 

Mike Reagan says,

"My search ended when I was twice adopted.

God is my father, and I am his child.

I'm finally home."

Mike is right -

You are our father and you love us.

Help us love our children just like you love us.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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